I’m familiar with the book of Job. I may not be able to quote it verbatim but I know the basic concept. In fact, I’ve worried my whole life that perhaps God may make an example out of me for my peers and that I could become the modern day version of Job.
While the last couple weeks have been Job-like they certainly haven’t been equal to the trial and tribulations that Job endured. I, and my family, have endured some sad moments. Coupled with my demeanor, raging OCD and the fact that my soul hurts for others I can say that the last couple weeks have been the hardest I can remember in a while.
It brings me back to the story of Job and my realization that I should praise God in all times. Good and bad. It is indeed HE who holds the future and HE who knows what’s best for me. Even though things may not have happened AS PLANNED on my end and things ARE NOT as I would like to happen… it is HE who ultimately knows what will mold me into the person HE has envisioned me being.
I have a vision. A vision of a better me. A vision of someone much stronger, much more confident and full of more love than I would ever be able to dispurse amongst the masses.
If this is what I have to endure Lord, if this is what I have to see and do to become what you would have of me… then I will do it. I will endure it. I want to come out stronger and more blessed than I could ever imagine.
Use me. Teach me. Reign your mercy down on me and I will follow you to the ends of the Earth because I know that my happiness needs to come from the inside out. You are the only one that can dig the deepest into my soul and change me. It is from that point that my happiness will radiate.
Happiness. What is that?
It is never in its truest form, unless it comes from Him.
I await. I pray. I believe.
I will continue to sing His praise no matter the circumstance.