Hiatus

I’ve been taking a hiatus.

guy taking nap on computer

The internet describes it as such:

hiatus [haɪˈeɪtəs]

n pl -tuses, -tus

1. (esp in manuscripts) a break or gap where something is missing

2. a break or interruption in continuity

Whether it be subconsciously or purposeful, I haven’t been having the same relationship with my God that I feel I’ve been used to for these last couple months.

And every once in a while, I’ll catch myself saying, “God, where have you been?”

Every time, somewhere deep inside, I can “hear” a voice. It isn’t an audible one. It is only one that my spirit hears.

I am here,” It says, “It is you who chooses to push me away.”

The Voice is right. Whether is be subconsciously or purposeful, I have chosen to eliminate God, if just for a moment, from my everyday thoughts and processes. To be honest, it doesn’t take me too long to thank God in the morning for the life that I have. It doesn’t take too long to read my devotional during a well deserved bathroom break. It doesn’t take too long to thank God for keeping me safe as I hurtled down the highway at break-neck speeds only to arrive safely back home, once again.

I get angry when my child doesn’t appreciate everything I do for her. God never angers. God doesn’t punish me for pushing Him away as if He were that kid in 3rd grade who used to eat his own fingernails, I am simply devoid of the opportunity to grow in a relationship with who I call “The Almighty Creator: Maker of Heaven and Earth”. Why would I, a creature substantially insignificant by human standards, deny myself the opportunity to create a friendship with a Creator capable of snuffing out my existence with a whisper?

It is because He allows me to.

He allows me to see what life is like outside of His love and friendship.

Let me tell you, life outside of His love and friendship doesn’t make sense. I can see life through the eyes of those who don’t believe and it makes me sad. It makes me sad because if you’re living on an eternal hiatus from God then you’re missing the “something” that truly makes you happy.

hiatus [haɪˈeɪtəs]

n pl -tuses, -tus

1. (esp in manuscripts) a break or gap where something is missing

2. a break or interruption in continuity

Every relationship needs to be fed to survive, even that relationship with all-knowing, all-consuming, all-encompassing, completely loving, grace filled entity known as God.

Or, as I like to call him sometimes: friend.

This hiatus is over.

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Categories: Christianity, Grace, Love | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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