I’ve been lost these last couple weeks.
Four years ago I began staying at home with my daughter instead of being the more socially accepted working husband who brings home the dough.
I didn’t like the idea.
I grew up in a home where my father worked and my mom stayed at home. To me, the idea of being a stay-at-home dad was an indication that I was less than a man. I couldn’t support my family financially and for that I was embarrassed.
Four years later, my tone has changed. I have provided more worth to my family staying at home than I ever could have being a working man. I have learned more about myself and what little pieces I’m made of.
Unfortunately, my days of being a SAHD are done. My daughter is in full time school and now and I have to find something to do with myself. The thing is… I don’t want to find something else to do. I was comfortable with the schedule I had and the job that I had. I had finally found a place for myself being a full-time dad and I had grown to love it.
Now, it has been ripped from me and I’m uncomfortable. I’m incredibly lost with what to do with myself.
It is now that I realize that I can never be too comfortable because things are always changing aren’t they?
People almost die.
Kids are born.
Jobs are lost.
Money is tight.
Your car breaks down.
Whatever changes still doesn’t affect the one thing that hasn’t changed. What is the one thing? The one thing is Almighty God. He doesn’t change. Despite everything that happens, He has to be my rock. Without Him I cannot manage this change on my own. I have to know that He holds the future and His intent is what’s best for me.
My job is to roll with the punches and ask for wisdom, guidance, trust, clarity and the ability to hear when He speaks.
So I pray. And I listen.